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General Info
Like a Rhinestone Cowboy!
United States
Hello girls, ladies, women, cougars and gay men! Thanks for checking out my profile. Like 99% of the people on here..."I can't believe I am doing this".....also....."I love to laugh"...also..."family and friends are sooo important to me". Come on people, come up with something a little more original to say. First things first, I AM NOT COOL. Don't know if I look cool or not, but if I do just know that I am not. So, if you are looking for someone with frosted tips and chiseled abs to go to the clubs with to slam shot after shot, bump and grind on the dance floor, and stay out till 4AM night after night you might as well stop reading now. I would rather lick the filthy floor of a public restroom in the middle of Idaho than do any of the things I just listed. Don't get me wrong, I like to go out and do stuff...just other stuff. Also, I am not into putting on an act infront of people. While there are maley maley wonderful things that I care deeply about in this beautiful world of ours there are also plenty of things that I simply do not give a f**k about, such as who Jennifer Aniston is banging, what type of jelly Clay Aiken spreads on his toast, which alley Britney vomited in lastnight and how much of a f**k people I do not give a f**k about give about me. Scientists have proven that the average american gives %60 too much of a f**k about things that simply do not f**king matter. Also, can someone please tell me why all of these people are posting pictures of their pets on their profile? I am not interested in dating your ferrit...no matter how cute it is. I must warn you, I love to play games with women...in particular Scrabble, Sorry, Battleship, Memory and Go Fish. Also sould tell you up front that my favorite position is...........quaterback, I played highschool football;) Not really into fashion, pretty much a t-shirt and jeans kinda guy. Not that I can't afford to shop for clothes at Macy's, I just could care less. Target is the way to go ;) I am perfectly comfortable laying around the house on a Sunday afternoon curled up with a good book and mug of hot chocolate dressed in full scuba grear (goggles and all) but I also love a night out on the town wearing my top hat, tuxedo and bunny slippers. I am just a regular everyday normal guy, ie...I have trouble opening my eyes under water, I clinch my eyes real hard when I wash my hair because the shampoo stings, Michael Keaton was my favorite Batmale, my parents are really nice people, my mom makes great meatballs, Celene Dion's voice brings a tear to my eye, I get scared when I go see the dentist, I still watch VHS tapes, my grandparents call me on my birthday and sing happy birthday on my voice mail, I think that Michael Jordan was better at basketball than any other humale being is at ANYTHING, sometimes I will walk into a room of my house and then completly forget why I went in there, I love Captn' Crunch cereal however I have a difficult time fully enjoying it because it tears up the roof of my mouth because the corners of those little sugar coated pillows are so darn sharp, I think that when you look up the word PERFECTION in the dictionary there should be a picture of Axl Rose, when I was 8 years old I saw my mom naked and it has scarred me for life, I have had it with those "Classmates.com" pop up adds...there is a reason have not talked to people from highschool in 10 years...I do not particurlarly like them, sticks and stones break my bones but it is the words that make me cry, when I get into a fight I usually leave on a stretcher...I just roll up in a ball while you kick me in the sides...honestly I probably won't fight back, I have changed my search on here to "female seeking male" just for the heck of it...guys, please put your shirts back on, sometimes when walking down the stairs I will not realize that there is one more step and I will almost break my neck, when I have nothing to say I usually talk about the weather, my favorite flavor Kool Aid is purple, I wear sweatpants in public when I feel lazy, I refuse to spend more than $12 on a haircut, to be productive at work I need to be well rested, I do not like margarine I perfer the taste of butter, I have a difficult time reading the letters/numbers that you need to type into the word verification box on this site, sometimes I will fall asleep late on a winter afternoon then wake up a few hours later after the sun has gone down....and I will not know what day it is for a few minutes, I like the first Back To The Future but the second one was better, I am very good at juggling, I think brussel sprouts are adorable...like little baby cabbages, when I am nearly out of dish soap I mix it with water just to make it last a little bit longer...but now there is really nothing left, I will read several pages of a book and then think to myself "I have no idea what I just read" and lastly I still think that Ghostbusters is a mind blowing cinematic masterpiece. While technically I am a full grown adult I still get a kick out of the occasional prank phone call, practical joke, peanutbutter and jelly sandwich as well as a good honest hug from my mom. I do have a couple requirements that you must meet...#1 You must be female. #2 You must be breathing. #3 If you are posting a picture of only a head shot please describe your body type acurately...if you have an enormous ass you are not "average". #4 You must be under the age of 65...or your boobs must not droop below your belly button. #5 No lezbo haircuts...if I am with a female I do not want to feel like I am with a male. #6 If you have kids you can not have their names tatooed up the side of your neck in cursive...that is disgusting and makes me want to vomit. #7 You must not have a lazy and or wandering eye. My 6th grade teacher had lazy/wandering eye...while there is nothing funny about being deformed like that, more than likely I will end up making fun of you about it...but only because my old teacher had one...and his name was Mr. Dyke on top of it! Just a regular everyday normal guy look forward to hearing from a regular everyday normal girl. Thanks, take care- Mark

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